Something I’ve neglected this year is that I’m first and foremost an artist. Well, this has honestly been an ongoing dilemma since my performing career ended but it’s become worse post-Covid. I can’t seem to find my way back to my former self. It’s been a real struggle to integrate my old life with my new one. I still haven’t figured out how to exist in this second career as a self-employed, full-time Pilates teacher while still nurturing the artist and performer in me. There’s a void where my inner-artist used to feel comfort at a soul level. I desperately miss creative collaboration. And I miss the process of merging great minds and talent to tell stories within the heightened atmosphere of physical theater.

Something I’ve been consistent at this year is Pilates. Yes, I’m a bonafide Contrology Freak™️ but, when life feels overwhelming, I tend to make up random excuses and neglect my workouts. And let’s just say, life has felt a bit overwhelming this year. #realtalk

Despite my passion for Pilates, left to my own devices, I might squander my time ruminating on any and every stressor I can lament over. But, instead, I’ve leaned into my practice as a grounding ritual that boosts my mood and reminds me that I’m capable of transformation and growth.

Even through my anxiety, one thing I’ve gotten better at this year is trusting myself & the timing of my life. Because one day I can feel like a rockstar; owning my power and living my truth. And the next day I can feel like a hopeless shit-show. While this has been a challenging year for me, I actually don’t feel hopeless!

Even through the chaos I can maintain my focus, remember the essence of who I am and what my purpose is. I can welcome each day as a new opportunity that’s full of possibility and root that possibility in my core values. I can “be the change” – in my own small way – even if it feels insignificant. And while trying to contribute positively to the world, I can also find ways to manage my stress and anxiety rather than ignoring my mental health.

My favorite mood enhancer is – hands down- movement. I’ve always been active and welcoming endorphin rushes since I was a kid. Back then I was a tree climbing, kick-balling, bun-headed ballerina. As an adult, I became a professional dancer, aerial artist and Pilates teacher. But I don’t move for the feel-good hormone hits alone. I do it for the confidence boost too. Any movement practice that requires progressive skill-building through repetition, dedication and time creates an “I can” mentality. And nothing fuels my mood more than feeling like a badass.

On an intellectual level, I know that inner-peace comes from being present and breathing through each moment with a sense of gratitude. Yada-Yada-Yada-OHM! My obnoxious brain, however, is constantly overanalyzing the past and overthinking the future. I’m a Gemini with a moon in Aquarius, damnit. All that “air” compels me to scrutinize, synthesize, and probe. While my spirit craves inner-peace, my mind loves to live in hypotheticals and “what if’s”. Sometimes it’s hard to catch my breath! And it’s even harder to sleep at night.