On an intellectual level, I know that inner-peace comes from being present and breathing through each moment with a sense of gratitude. Yada-Yada-Yada-OHM! My obnoxious brain, however, is constantly overanalyzing the past and overthinking the future. I’m a Gemini with a moon in Aquarius, damnit. All that “air” compels me to scrutinize, synthesize, and probe. While my spirit craves inner-peace, my mind loves to live in hypotheticals. My mind is so busy that it’s hard to catch my breath! And it’s even harder to sleep at night.
For me, inner-peace doesn’t come from stillness, meditation, and conscious breathwork like all the wellness gurus claim I need (although they could still be right). But what has always felt right for me since I was a kid is MOVEMENT. I literally need to move my thoughts, feelings, and emotions! And that could simply mean moving my pen across the page while spewing out thoughts, stream-of-consciousness style. Just a massive brain dump into my journal to make space and welcome clarity. That feels so peaceful, liberating and energizing! I also need to move my body. And for most of my life that’s included the expressiveness of dance in all forms; ballet, jazz, modern, hip-hop, salsa, and Afro-Caribbean. Plus, aerial harness and pole dancing. Dance allows me to give expression to everything going on in my mind and heart and to explore every side of my personality without censor or shame. Sadly, I haven’t taken a dance class since Covid but Pilates fills that void, at least physically and mentally. It’s not emotive movement but it still harmonizes my body and mind and makes me focus on the present moment. And, what each moment feels like. Pilates also teaches me what incremental progress feels like and to celebrate those moments. It reminds me of what I’m capable of when I keep showing up for myself with a growth mindset. That elicits inner-strength, inner-confidence, and inner-peace for sure.
My tendency to harbor and ruminate over thoughts, feelings and emotions has proven counterproductive to my inner-peace. It actually makes me feel stuck; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And I ain’t about that stuck life. So I keep choosing movement.