Even through my anxiety, one thing I’ve gotten better at this year is trusting myself & the timing of my life. Because one day I can feel like a rockstar; owning my power and living my truth. And the next day I can feel like a hopeless shit-show. While this has been a challenging year for me, I actually don’t feel hopeless!

Even through the chaos I can maintain my focus, remember the essence of who I am and what my purpose is. I can welcome each day as a new opportunity that’s full of possibility and root that possibility in my core values. I can “be the change” – in my own small way – even if it feels insignificant. And while trying to contribute positively to the world, I can also find ways to manage my stress and anxiety rather than ignoring my mental health.

My favorite mood enhancer is – hands down- movement. I’ve always been active and welcoming endorphin rushes since I was a kid. Back then I was a tree climbing, kick-balling, bun-headed ballerina. As an adult, I became a professional dancer, aerial artist and Pilates teacher. But I don’t move for the feel-good hormone hits alone. I do it for the confidence boost too. Any movement practice that requires progressive skill-building through repetition, dedication and time creates an “I can” mentality. And nothing fuels my mood more than feeling like a badass.

On an intellectual level, I know that inner-peace comes from being present and breathing through each moment with a sense of gratitude. Yada-Yada-Yada-OHM! My obnoxious brain, however, is constantly overanalyzing the past and overthinking the future. I’m a Gemini with a moon in Aquarius, damnit. All that “air” compels me to scrutinize, synthesize, and probe. While my spirit craves inner-peace, my mind loves to live in hypotheticals and “what if’s”. Sometimes it’s hard to catch my breath! And it’s even harder to sleep at night.

Dear Inner-Critic… you are a bold faced liar. I’ve proven you wrong time and time again and yet you persist. It’s as if you want me to fail, settle for mediocrity, and live a life that’s just “meh”. Not happening! The crazy thing is, the more you insist upon belittling me and telling me I’m “not ________ enough” the more rooted in my truth I become. I know my worth and I’ve got practice with self-advocacy. I’ve been fighting for myself since I was a kid who wanted nothing more than to live my life as authentically as possible and on my own terms.

When I’m stressed or anxious I tend toward sleepless nights with my mind stammering from one topic to the next. Nothing but incoherent babble interrupted by spontaneous bursts of creativity or insight that I scribble feverishly in my journal or the notes app of my iPhone. But when the wee hours hit & my eyelids refuse to get heavy, I binge-watch House Hunters International and fantasize about a new life under an entirely new identity. ⠀