I’m making my life easier by:
Managing my expectations about what’s humanly possible in a day, a week, a month, a year (and a lifetime).

I have undiagnosed Restless Mind Syndrome. Is that even a thing? All I know is that my mind is always buzzing with ideas that “deserve” my immediate attention. But they actually don’t. I’m not saying they’re not good ideas. They just don’t all have to happen – today! There’s something about being a big dreamer and facing Act 2 of my life that makes everything feel so imperative, though. So to avoid overwhelm, my new strategy is, slow the f**k down and actually implement a strategy for accomplishing my goals. Go figure!

I’m attracting people into my life who aren’t afraid to live outside the veil of their persona. They welcome relationships grounded in authenticity, vulnerability, and truth. My spirit absolutely swells during those “get to know you” kinda conversations where curiosity leads to communication, which leads to understanding and trust – a foundation for real friendship. As a highly sensitive introvert, I recoil at the sound of small-talk. But I come alive during conversations that challenge me to think deeper, experience different perspectives, or completely change my mind. I love spending time with people who are open to sharing their ideas, opinions, dreams, fears and failures. I mean, who doesn’t wanna feel seen, valued, heard and supported?

Y’know what I want less of in my life? AGING! There, I said it. Oh, I want all fifty-one years of experience I’ve accumulated and the wisdom that comes from life lessons and the power of choice. And I ain’t givin’ up this feeling of sitting in my own skin, all comfy-lomfy; living boldly and audaciously with zero f**ks given. And I’ll never retreat to my former people-pleasing self, either. I’ma continue basking in all this vulnerability and authenticity; feelin’ like Maya Angelou “phenomenal woman, that’s me.”

What I want less of, though, is…

Personally, I want more social proximity and hugs, damnit! I want more intimate gatherings in cozy spaces with good conversations. More time in dimly lit lounges with a live DJ so I can “leave it on the dance floor” and exit a hot, sweaty mess. I want more Afro-Caribbean dance classes with live drummers and to wind my hips a bit differently in pole dance classes that transport me back to my days as an aerial artist. And then I wanna sit in a crowded Brooklyn coffee shop; banging out ideas on my laptop while the energy of other people’s creativity pulses around me. I want more opportunities to travel to Spanish-speaking countries to explore, meet new people, and continue improving my Spanish-speaking abilities. I miss all these strong energy zones fueled by dreams, inspiration, connection, and self-expression.

What’s going well in my life right now is that, despite the pandemic’s chokehold on life as we knew it, I have continued to grow personally and professionally. And I am so freaking grateful for that because life has kinda felt like a crap shoot since March 2020. But, living during a pandemic has distilled my priorities; making it far more clear who and what is important in my life and why. It’s fomented my need for connection, intimacy, creativity, learning, and self-care rituals for body, mind, and spirit. And I’ve actually responded to those needs instead of putting them off because I’m “too busy”. Granted, I’ve been able to (had to) meet those needs from the comfort and convenience of my home but, hey, I’m doin’ it!

I’m leaving behind the limiting beliefs that “I am not __________ enough“. You could fill in the blank with damn near any adjective and I’ve probably said it to myself a gazillion times. Let’s just say, when you’re raised in a cult, you grow these oversized fears of making mistakes or not measuring up to ridiculous puritanical standards, lest you be shunned by your family and the only community you know. That threat is scary and real! There was this constant feeling that big brother was watching. And “he” was.