At the most superficial level, when I look in the mirror I see the aging process at work. As I gaze at my 51yo self, I see decades worth of reflections flash before me: each era staring back as a reminder of what’s shaped me.

I see… the negative voices from my childhood about my appearance that cultivated my own negative self-talk… being a dark-skinned Black girl in a predominantly White town with a love of Classical ballet where no one looked like me either…

meant to be me. And f**k me for choosing careers that are so driven by aesthetics! In hindsight, it feels both foolish and brave after growing up with all the verbal and non-verbal messaging that I wasn’t the “right type” to pursue my dreams. I knew that being called “healthy” wasn’t a compliment and that my “thick thighs” would always stand between me and a dance career. And in the world of entertainment, hardly anyone looked like me! But I did it anyway. 

I nurture my body by being a self-care junkie. But here’s the real story: I’ve finally learned to listen to my body after years of ignoring all the warning signs that she’d had enough of this “wild child”. I believed I was invincible. She was on the verge of going kaput. My response? Adrenaline plus ice. But there ain’t enough feel-good hormones or analgesics to sustain the highly physical careers I’ve chosen. My body had to sit me down multiple times – in the form of injury – and hand me ultimatums.

Some of my body’s coolest abilities are…

1. its ability to do cool physical shit
2. its ability to keep getting stronger no matter how old I am
3. its ability to heal

I’ve been highly physical since I was a kid. I was of the “stay outside til the street lamps come on” generation. I’d return home “smellin’ like the outdoors” after riding bikes, climbing trees, playing kickball, and building forts with the neighborhood kids. But this musty wild child also fell in love with her Royal Academy of Dancing Classical ballet training.

I’m grateful for my body because, through her, I’ve been able to explore my greatest passions; dance, aerial arts, and fitness. And ultimately turn them into careers! My body thrives on the discipline of skill building and discovering what I’m capable of. When it comes to training, I never get bored of the cycle of repetition and growth, no matter how long it takes to reach my goal. That journey feels like play to me.

I am contributing to healing the racial divide by standing proudly in my authentic self; knowing that my life alone defies most people’s expectations when they see my skin. I remember how growing up in a predominantly white college town, I was confused by what it meant to “act”, and “sound” Black. I felt the burden of expectations that were all too foreign to me. But the little Black girl in the mirror didn’t seem “Black enough”. That confusion seems strange since