Before the end of ‘22 I’d like to start learning Aerial Hoop aka Lyra. This new, artistic journey has been in my heart for years and on the calendar for weeks. It was supposed to begin today. I woke up at an ungodly hour for a Sunday, and braved the NYC subway system which defied me with delays and re-routed trains. Typical weekend shit. I ended up arriving too late for them to admit me into class. Understood. So I spent the next hour commuting back to Brooklyn feeling defeated; to which I drowned my disappointment in gluten free banana pancakes smothered in strawberries and Vermont maple syrup.
I used to be a professional dancer and aerial artist (harness & pole). It was quite literally, and possibly sadly, my entire identity. And wrapped up in my performing career was my social life; full of the people who became my closest friends and dearest community. My life was this amazing balance of collaborative artistic work, play, and deep, authentic relationships. But as the years quickly pass, leaving huge gaps of time between my old life and my new one, I’m starting to feel like less of a dancer. Less of an aerialist. Less of an artist. And far less social. My besties have spread across the country. And for those of us remaining in NYC, we’re each forging different career paths and managing kids and/or aging parents; all while navigating other midlife issues no one forewarned us about.
I don’t know how missing my first aerial hoop class sent me on such a whiny tailspin. Oh, peri-menopause! LOL. Anyway, I’m still a happy and grateful mutha-fucka. It’s not lost on me that I’ve been able to build two successful careers and sustain friendships that light me up and make me come alive. But I still can’t help but feel disconnected from the artistic roots that nurtured my soul and made me who I am today. I know I’ll never be able to recreate those past experiences but I will certainly plant my roots in new soil and see which way I grow. And so, next week, I’ll leave my house 30min earlier so that the NYC subway system doesn’t kill my vibe. Keex is gonna begin her aerial hoop journey before 2022 ends.