A behavior/mindset I’m quitting is my fierce independence. One of my biggest fears is to become a burden on anyone. Why should anyone else help carry the weight of what I can’t handle? Or help me solve a mess I probably created myself? Or be the sounding board for the stuff that keeps me awake with insomnia? I figure I’ve just gotta suck it up, get stronger, try harder and do better.
Independence became an absolute necessity when I abruptly left my insular cult-life to move to NYC at 23yo to pursue a prohibited dance career. My parents were 100% unsupportive and that decision put a lasting strain on our relationship. So I had to navigate an entirely foreign world alone; emotionally and financially. I used to wear my independence like a badge of honor because I followed my dreams despite my parents and succeeded. But the Universe hates cocky and will quickly humble and remind you that we are interdependent creatures by nature. We need each other for support and growth. Or to even change a lightbulb.
This is how stupidly independent I am. I have high ceilings and no space to store a ladder. So, even when standing on my tallest piece of furniture, I can’t change the lightbulbs. But instead of burdening my building’s Super, I used the box lights from my virtual home studio to illuminate my space for an entire year (okay, two years)! When I finally mustered up the “nerve” to apologetically bother my Super for help, he was like “Um, that’s what I’m here for! Why didn’t you call sooner? What else do you need?” Like most people, he was happy to help. *bows head in shame*
So, 2023 is about asking for help and support when I need it. I don’t have to change lightbulbs or do life alone.
7 Days of Soaked in Thought
S.I.T is an invitation to SIT with yourself – for a few minutes per day – to think your thoughts, feel your feels & express your emotions with a JOURNALING RITUAL. These 7 days are dedicated to end of the year reflection and how you’d like to step into the New Year. I’ll be posting daily journaling prompts as a source of inspiration for becoming #soakedinthought