journaling for self-awareness
In 2022 I will connect with my INNER-CHILD whose been buried beneath extreme adulting. She’s itching to crawl out of her dark hiding space to get curious about the world again, explore her creativity, and discover new social hobbies. I miss “Keex”, the infinitely more fun, loquacious, and physically expressive version of myself. Right now I feel like a boring old fuddy-duddy. To me, reconnecting with my inner-child means temporarily detaching myself from expectations, responsibilities, and accomplishments. It’s about exploring the depths of my personality and the spectrum of possibility.
What depleted me the most in 2021 was NAVIGATING NEW TECH and TOO MUCH SCREEN TIME! When my 3-dimensional Pilates and massage therapy biz needed to survive this global pandemic; like many, I fled to the 2-dimensional territory of cyberspace. And because tech is not my “gift”, every day feels like a punch-the-screen, “WTF?” kind…
There’s this “strong Black woman” trope that hovers over me like an unmet expectation. Yes I am a strong, powerful, and resilient Black woman. I was even raised to project that image. But sometimes a sista gotta feel her feels and fall apart. I need the time and space to give into the tears, fears, and frustrations without pretending like I’ve got my sh*t together all the time. ‘Cause I don’t! I need a safe space for vulnerability, realness, and honesty. And for that, I treasure my sister-friends and my self-care rituals; deep and meaningful connections with a select few and my (higher)self. That’s where I got my support in 2021.