S.I.T. Day 6: Sister-Friends & Self-Care Rituals

There’s this “strong Black woman” trope that hovers over me like an unmet expectation. Yes I am a strong, powerful, and resilient Black woman. I was even raised to project that image. But sometimes a sista gotta feel her feels and fall apart. I need the time and space to give into the tears, fears, and frustrations without pretending like I’ve got my sh*t together all the time. ‘Cause I don’t! I need a safe space for vulnerability, realness, and honesty. And for that, I treasure my sister-friends and my self-care rituals; deep and meaningful connections with a select few and my (higher)self. That’s where I got my support in 2021.

Since emotional intimacy seems to be a dying art-form, I feel super-lucky to have close friends who are willing to prioritize regular #realtalk conversations; whether it’s over brunch, long walks in Fort Greene Park, or regularly scheduled Facetime chats that last for hours. And we talk about real life sh*t; career, family, relationships, religion, politics, and current events. But more importantly, how they impact our thoughts, emotions and the way we show up in the world. We’re sounding boards, mirrors, cheerleaders and support systems for one another. We exchange ideas and opinions, we agree and disagree, and we learn and grow together. That type of connection feels incredibly grounding and like, “Yep, I can handle whatever the world hurls at me!”.

But as an introvert, I also cherish my alone time. I gotta slow down and recharge by sitting with my thoughts and emotions. And one of my favorite ways to do that is through journaling which has been a ritual of mine since the mid-90s. Like Joan Didion said, “I write to know what I”m thinking… what I want and what I fear”. So the pages of my journal are like a series of snapshots of my psyche. The absolute truth of who and how I am in the moment. When I’m clear about those things, it’s easier to manage my emotions, support myself with self-compassion and make choices that are alignment with what I want, need, and desire in life.

31 Days of Soaked in Thought

S.I.T is an invitation to SIT with yourself – for a few minutes per day – to think your thoughts, feel your feels & express your emotions with a JOURNALING RITUAL. For the entire month of Jan, I’ll be posting daily journaling prompts as a source of inspiration. Ring in the New Year by getting #soakedinthought