Physical signs of aging make me feel like time is of the essence. They remind me that life is not infinite, and so I should avoid spending it on the couch scrolling social media, binging Netflix or simply dreaming about all of the things on my bucket list. I want to be in the present moment and savor whatever makes me come alive. I mean, there’s still so much I want to see, do, and experience in this lifetime.
The aging process also makes me curious and, honestly, a lil’ nervous about how the next few decades will alter my appearance. This quote about aging from Joseph Pilates always cracks me up: “As we mature, we find ourselves living in bodies not always complimentary to our ego”. And so I wonder, sometimes, if my ego can handle a head full of gray, a face full of wrinkles, and Southern-facing boobs? And can my ego withstand these inevitable changes within a society that celebrates eternal youth and beauty; even if it’s surgically crafted? ‘Cause it’s bizarre to have such vivid memories of myself in my 20s, 30s, and 40s; while faced with a slightly unfamiliar image in the mirror in my 50s.
Physical signs of aging also make me feel melancholy for my previous career as a performer. Ten years ago I literally exercised, rehearsed, and performed all day long. I was in a constant state of creative and physical self-expression which, at my core, is who I am – a mover and a story-teller. Now, the amount of time I spend moving in one week is what I used to do in one day (that might be a slight exaggeration)! And despite the fact that I was often nursing overuse injuries, all that movement felt damn good to my soul. And because of that, aging reminds me to return to dance in some form – so that my soul can soar again.
S.I.T. With Yourself in April
This month’s #soakedinthought journaling prompts are dedicated to body confidence and fitness as a lifestyle. As we move into Spring and the fitness industry ramps up its messaging about getting “in shape” for Summer, I hope you’ll sit with yourself to figure out what your body, mind, and spirit need to feel healthy, fit, and happy – without all the external voices.