When someone tells me “no”, my first reaction is to get all up in my feelings. Yep, I feel butt-hurt and wonder “How could they possibly say “no” to ME!?” Feeding the disappointment is the psychological dance in my head that looks like a technicolor play-by-play of our most recent interactions to understand what I could’ve done to elicit a negative response. It’s crazy how a simple “no” can feel like a personal attack that sends me spiraling.
Eventually my ego gets out of the way and I laugh at myself because I realize that, when I say “no”, it’s not generally because I don’t like someone. It’s not because they’ve disappointed or offended me. Sometimes “no” is simply because I’m tired, don’t have time and/or feel overwhelmed. Or that, what they want me to do doesn’t interest me, even if I totally dig them, their friendship or whatever project they want me involved with. And even if I do say “no” I’ll most likely find other ways to support or hang with them!
I also remember that I’m not the only introvert on the planet who needs time to retreat and recharge. Sometimes a “no” means, “I need space” or “I’m in a funk” so lemme bow out gracefully so I don’t kill your vibe. My wellbeing requires being aware of and supporting my own physical, mental and emotional needs before I can show up fully other people. In the past, the people-pleaser in me said “yes” to everyone and everything, even if it compromised my sanity and happiness. I never want anyone to feel compelled to do that for me; even if a “no” stings a bit at first.
7 Days of Soaked in Thought
S.I.T is an invitation to SIT with yourself – for a few minutes per day – to think your thoughts, feel your feels & express your emotions with a JOURNALING RITUAL. These 7 days are dedicated to “NO”vember; saying “no”, creating boundaries and honoring your needs. I’ll be posting daily journaling prompts as a source of inspiration for becoming #soakedinthought