Right now I’m worried about adult shit. Like, how to survive white male patriarchy and the ominous possibility of living in a dystopian society. And then, there’s the day-to-day worries of being a chronically single, Black woman solopreneur living in NYC during a tenuous economy. Also, the world is on fire! Literally. This is the stuff that makes me prone to anxiety and insomnia. But somehow, I remain the positive, pro-active, glass half-full kinda chick that believes in possibility as if it were my religion. My subconscious mind, on the other hand, has an entirely different narrative playing in the background. I fight her daily. Well, mostly at night when I should be getting my beauty rest.
Speaking of beauty… and yes, I know it’s fleeting and unimportant in the grand scheme of things but; damn, it’s a mindf*ck to watch my face and body evolve courtesy of being a 52yo woman in perimenopause. It doesn’t so much “worry” me, but my reflection is definitely a reminder of the sands of time. I’ve lived over a 1/2 a century already! And yes, my life has been dope; even the f*cked up parts because they’ve honed me into the woman I am today. I have no regrets and truly dig who I am. But damn, there’s so much more I wanna do, see, accomplish and experience in this lifetime! Maybe if I’m lucky like my grandmommy, I’ll get to live until I’m 101yo. Unless, that is, all of my rights and freedoms are stripped away by unrestrained patriarchy. Or we let greedy capitalism and consumerism turn our planet into a burning cinder first.