An intangible gift that I like giving is best expressed by Maya Angelou, “people… will never forget the way you made them feel”. That resonates so deeply because, even through time and forgiveness, I still feel the sting of other people’s words or the weight of their behaviors and betrayals. And it’s taken so much effort to rebuild my self-esteem, dare to be vulnerable and to trust my intuition again. So it’s important to me that I’m really conscious about how I move through relationships and shared spaces. 

An intangible gift I’d like to receive is CLARITY. I’m one of those multi-passionate, adventurous dreamers that’s experienced immense joy and fulfillment on many different paths. I’m a Gemini with a Sag rising after all. So I’m curious, passionate and adaptable AF. 

That’s all fun and games when you’re in your early twenties and decide to ditch cult-life and leave your small hometown to become a professional dancer in NYC.

A behavior/mindset I’m quitting is my fierce independence. One of my biggest fears is to become a burden on anyone. Why should anyone else help carry the weight of what I can’t handle? Or help me solve a mess I probably created myself? Or be the sounding board for the stuff that keeps me awake with insomnia? I figure I’ve just gotta suck it up, get stronger, try harder and do better. 

Independence became an absolute necessity when I abruptly left my insular cult-life to move to NYC at 23yo to pursue a prohibited dance career.

A life lesson I learned in 2022 is that “the hustle” is overrated while inner-peace is underrated. What’s important to me now is the quality of my life and the quantity of my joy. Financial success is a definite priority for me so that I can afford the lifestyle and experiences I want. But I’ve realized that if I’m so engaged in the pursuit of money that I don’t have time to experience my life, what’s the point? 

The greatest gift I gave myself in 2022 was freedom from the hustle without labeling myself as “lazy”. The incessant need to churn out ideas & “pivot” my business while surrendering to a 2-year Covid lockdown and isolation left me feeling depleted. So in 2022, as the world opened up with possibility, I wasn’t in the mood to create new opportunities for myself. I needed to re-fill my cup and start reevaluating what I need in my life to truly feel fulfilled. 

My priorities included nurturing my Pilates practice, developing my teaching skills, and to, somehow, return to my first love – the arts.

In “NO”vember I’m saying “yes” to the kind of clarity that’ll inspire some new life decisions and motivate me to take action vs continuing to coast on auto-pilot like I have for most of 2022. It’s time to figure out which way I’d like to grow so I don’t remain stuck in status quo.

The previous two years – Covid lockdown – were dedicated to career “pivoting” and social isolation which fueled my anxiety and depleted me. I was exhausted from the mental and emotional stamina it required, without the balance of real human connection. Not to mention the ever-growing socio-political polarization and racial tension that compounded my stress.