In 2022 I want to learn more about the craft of writing. I first fell in love with writing in Mr. Craig’s 5th grade class. He had a way of making words feel like colorful puzzle pieces that, when thoughtfully constructed, created pictures so vivid they’d transport me into a world far more adventurous than my own. Like dance, writing became a portal into my dreamworld. I needed that as a kid growing up in a high control religion because I had to suppress so much of who I was.

In 6 months I want to feel more… INNER-PEACE. I’ve started cultivating this for myself already, but I definitely foresee the journey ahead. The last couple of years have stirred up so much anxiety that my insides are constantly vibrating with nervous energy. It’s the same kinda nerves I used to get when performing a solo aerial act in an Off-Broadway show. No biggie. Just the element of danger and five hundred pair of eyes – all on me – in the spotlight! This perfectionist dreads the spotlight and my “inner-nuisance” knows it. And so she’d taunt me.

I’m making my life easier by:
Managing my expectations about what’s humanly possible in a day, a week, a month, a year (and a lifetime).

I have undiagnosed Restless Mind Syndrome. Is that even a thing? All I know is that my mind is always buzzing with ideas that “deserve” my immediate attention. But they actually don’t. I’m not saying they’re not good ideas. They just don’t all have to happen – today! There’s something about being a big dreamer and facing Act 2 of my life that makes everything feel so imperative, though. So to avoid overwhelm, my new strategy is, slow the f**k down and actually implement a strategy for accomplishing my goals. Go figure!

I’m attracting people into my life who aren’t afraid to live outside the veil of their persona. They welcome relationships grounded in authenticity, vulnerability, and truth. My spirit absolutely swells during those “get to know you” kinda conversations where curiosity leads to communication, which leads to understanding and trust – a foundation for real friendship. As a highly sensitive introvert, I recoil at the sound of small-talk. But I come alive during conversations that challenge me to think deeper, experience different perspectives, or completely change my mind. I love spending time with people who are open to sharing their ideas, opinions, dreams, fears and failures. I mean, who doesn’t wanna feel seen, valued, heard and supported?

Y’know what I want less of in my life? AGING! There, I said it. Oh, I want all fifty-one years of experience I’ve accumulated and the wisdom that comes from life lessons and the power of choice. And I ain’t givin’ up this feeling of sitting in my own skin, all comfy-lomfy; living boldly and audaciously with zero f**ks given. And I’ll never retreat to my former people-pleasing self, either. I’ma continue basking in all this vulnerability and authenticity; feelin’ like Maya Angelou “phenomenal woman, that’s me.”

What I want less of, though, is…

Personally, I want more social proximity and hugs, damnit! I want more intimate gatherings in cozy spaces with good conversations. More time in dimly lit lounges with a live DJ so I can “leave it on the dance floor” and exit a hot, sweaty mess. I want more Afro-Caribbean dance classes with live drummers and to wind my hips a bit differently in pole dance classes that transport me back to my days as an aerial artist. And then I wanna sit in a crowded Brooklyn coffee shop; banging out ideas on my laptop while the energy of other people’s creativity pulses around me. I want more opportunities to travel to Spanish-speaking countries to explore, meet new people, and continue improving my Spanish-speaking abilities. I miss all these strong energy zones fueled by dreams, inspiration, connection, and self-expression.