The greatest gift I gave myself in 2022 was freedom from the hustle without labeling myself as “lazy”. The incessant need to churn out ideas & “pivot” my business while surrendering to a 2-year Covid lockdown and isolation left me feeling depleted. So in 2022, as the world opened up with possibility, I wasn’t in the mood to create new opportunities for myself. I needed to re-fill my cup and start reevaluating what I need in my life to truly feel fulfilled. 

My priorities included nurturing my Pilates practice, developing my teaching skills, and to, somehow, return to my first love – the arts.

In my career I’m saying “no” to working six days/week ever again. Or schlepping around the city between private homes, Pilates studios and Massage therapy offices to be as accommodating as possible to as many people as possible. Nope. Been there, done that. That’s a business model based in fear that left me so depleted and completely envious of clients as they snored comfortably on my massage table.

Before the end of ‘22 I’d like to start learning Aerial Hoop aka Lyra. This new, artistic journey has been in my heart for years and on the calendar for weeks. It was supposed to begin today. I woke up at an ungodly hour for a Sunday and braved the NYC subway system which defied me with delays and re-routed trains. Typical weekend shit. I ended up arriving too late for them to admit me into class. Understood. So I spent the next hour commuting back to Brooklyn feeling defeated; to which I drowned my disappointment in gluten free banana pancakes smothered in strawberries and Vermont maple syrup. 

Something I’ve neglected this year is that I’m first and foremost an artist. Well, this has honestly been an ongoing dilemma since my performing career ended but it’s become worse post-Covid. I can’t seem to find my way back to my former self. It’s been a real struggle to integrate my old life with my new one. I still haven’t figured out how to exist in this second career as a self-employed, full-time Pilates teacher while still nurturing the artist and performer in me. There’s a void where my inner-artist used to feel comfort at a soul level. I desperately miss creative collaboration. And I miss the process of merging great minds and talent to tell stories within the heightened atmosphere of physical theater.

Something I’ve been consistent at this year is Pilates. Yes, I’m a bonafide Contrology Freak™️ but, when life feels overwhelming, I tend to make up random excuses and neglect my workouts. And let’s just say, life has felt a bit overwhelming this year. #realtalk

Despite my passion for Pilates, left to my own devices, I might squander my time ruminating on any and every stressor I can lament over. But, instead, I’ve leaned into my practice as a grounding ritual that boosts my mood and reminds me that I’m capable of transformation and growth.

My favorite mood enhancer is – hands down- movement. I’ve always been active and welcoming endorphin rushes since I was a kid. Back then I was a tree climbing, kick-balling, bun-headed ballerina. As an adult, I became a professional dancer, aerial artist and Pilates teacher. But I don’t move for the feel-good hormone hits alone. I do it for the confidence boost too. Any movement practice that requires progressive skill-building through repetition, dedication and time creates an “I can” mentality. And nothing fuels my mood more than feeling like a badass.