journaling for self-care
I started upgrading my self-care during the holidays with REST. Like, the stay in bed all day kinda rest. Like, the Netflix, nap and repeat kinda rest. Over the past two years I’ve been highly productive but also overworked, full of anxiety and totally depleted. My weekends? Gone. My 2hr bi-monthly manual MFR treatments? Gone. My sanity? Gone. What did stay consistent was my Pilates routine. Five days per week! That’s the glue that held me together; physically and mentally. That, plus journaling. But even that suffered. And when I’m not journaling, it’s usually because I’m avoiding the truth of my current emotional state.
What depleted me the most in 2021 was NAVIGATING NEW TECH and TOO MUCH SCREEN TIME! When my 3-dimensional Pilates and massage therapy biz needed to survive this global pandemic; like many, I fled to the 2-dimensional territory of cyberspace. And because tech is not my “gift”, every day feels like a punch-the-screen, “WTF?” kind…
There’s this “strong Black woman” trope that hovers over me like an unmet expectation. Yes I am a strong, powerful, and resilient Black woman. I was even raised to project that image. But sometimes a sista gotta feel her feels and fall apart. I need the time and space to give into the tears, fears, and frustrations without pretending like I’ve got my sh*t together all the time. ‘Cause I don’t! I need a safe space for vulnerability, realness, and honesty. And for that, I treasure my sister-friends and my self-care rituals; deep and meaningful connections with a select few and my (higher)self. That’s where I got my support in 2021.
My most exhilarating experience in 2021 started with an N95 mask, a face shield, a cross-country flight and a bus ride across the Mexican border. My destination? Rancho La Puerta, where I was the Guest Pilates Instructor for 1 week. Yes, it was a work trip. But the Ranch always makes sure I’m blissfully cared for.