My inner-child wants me to reclaim her. For the last six months she’s been trying to break-free from a time-out I subconsciously imposed. I guess I was keeping her hidden to protect her sensitive little spirit, and lost track of the years. But with my inner-child out of sight and out of mind, I was simply going through the motions of living. And without that playful, vulnerable and fearless little dreamer by my side, my life’s choices became shaped by feelings of lack, past hurts and rejection.

In my career I’m saying “no” to working six days/week ever again. Or schlepping around the city between private homes, Pilates studios and Massage therapy offices to be as accommodating as possible to as many people as possible. Nope. Been there, done that. That’s a business model based in fear that left me so depleted and completely envious of clients as they snored comfortably on my massage table.

I wouldn’t say it it’s easy to say “no” but it’s definitely getting easier. After decades of people-pleasing I’m finally less concerned about disappointing others than I am about disappointing myself. The heavy feelings of resentment and regret are no longer worth saying “yes” to things that aren’t in alignment with my spirit.  But I was raised to put everyone else first. My religion taught me that the very definition of JOY is “Jehovah. Others. You”. In that order! I was coerced into believing that my wants, needs, goals and desires were selfish.