Ending the year with a bang looks like…

Ending the year with a bang looks like reflecting on 2022 and finding gratitude even though it’s been a tough one. I feel like I’ve been living in limbo-land just waiting for some miraculous shift to happen instead of pulling up my big girl panties and creating what I want next out of life. So it’s about feeling grounded in my purpose and way more intentional about my choices; while still being open to possibility and unexpected opportunity.

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The upcoming holiday season makes me feel…

The upcoming holiday season makes me feel a mix of sadness, loneliness and even anger. I mean, the holidays themselves are no big deal to me. But I’m already experiencing the anticipatory grief of feeling disconnected from my family and the family traditions I never really had. 

Holiday celebrations came to a screeching halt for me when I was about six, because my mom got swept up in a cult that believed holidays were pagan and not to be celebrated.

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Learning a new skill makes me feel….

Learning a new skill makes me feel both anxious and excited. Like, am I about to discover a latent superpower or my kryptonite? Either way, if it’s movement related, I’ma go for it! In fact, the more impossible something looks and feels, the more I’m determined to figure it out. Now, I’m not as reckless with my body as I used to be. Age and injury have humbled my aspirations a bit.

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Before the end of ’22, I’d like to start learning…

Before the end of ‘22 I’d like to start learning Aerial Hoop aka Lyra. This new, artistic journey has been in my heart for years and on the calendar for weeks. It was supposed to begin today. I woke up at an ungodly hour for a Sunday and braved the NYC subway system which defied me with delays and re-routed trains. Typical weekend shit. I ended up arriving too late for them to admit me into class. Understood. So I spent the next hour commuting back to Brooklyn feeling defeated; to which I drowned my disappointment in gluten free banana pancakes smothered in strawberries and Vermont maple syrup. 

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Something I’ve neglected this year is…

Something I’ve neglected this year is that I’m first and foremost an artist. Well, this has honestly been an ongoing dilemma since my performing career ended but it’s become worse post-Covid. I can’t seem to find my way back to my former self. It’s been a real struggle to integrate my old life with my new one. I still haven’t figured out how to exist in this second career as a self-employed, full-time Pilates teacher while still nurturing the artist and performer in me. There’s a void where my inner-artist used to feel comfort at a soul level. I desperately miss creative collaboration. And I miss the process of merging great minds and talent to tell stories within the heightened atmosphere of physical theater.

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Something I’ve been consistent at this year is…

Something I’ve been consistent at this year is Pilates. Yes, I’m a bonafide Contrology Freak™️ but, when life feels overwhelming, I tend to make up random excuses and neglect my workouts. And let’s just say, life has felt a bit overwhelming this year. #realtalk

Despite my passion for Pilates, left to my own devices, I might squander my time ruminating on any and every stressor I can lament over. But, instead, I’ve leaned into my practice as a grounding ritual that boosts my mood and reminds me that I’m capable of transformation and growth.

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